Moderation in modesty
A Jew can be "holding" (maintaining standards in accordance with a particular hashkafah/religious perspective) in this manner. ("Shmirat einayim" means "the guarding of the eyes," done in the interest of avoiding temptation by the "yetzer hara" [evil inclination]. Sorry, but it would take half of this post for me to translate all the Hebrew in that one. Feel free to ask questions in the comments. ) Here's a sample from that post: ". . . the real place of milchama [war] is, b’avonoseinu harabim [in our many sins?], in our frum [Orthodox] communities where helige bnos Yisroel [holy daughters of Israel/Jewish daughters/Jewish women], try to walk the line between proper, unapologetic tzinus [tznius/tzniut/modesty], and “being fashionable”.
Or a Jew can be behaving in this manner. (I'm referring to the second paragraph and beyond, but feel free to follow the links in the first one.)
Either extreme—"nothing shows" or "anything goes"—results in shooting the knees-covered legs out from under those wishing to stake out a moderate position on the issue of modesty (tzniut) in dress.
In that post by A Simple Jew, he and his commenters seem to be positing that the only way for men to control their own sexual desires is, essentially, to avoid women like the plague. They don’t seem to have any understanding that this particular method of trying to improve their own behavior tends to lead them to insult half the human race, which one would think would be a violation of Judaism’s teachings on derech eretz (courtesy) and kavod habriyot (respect for [G-d’s] creatures). To me, some of them seem so concerned with protecting themselves from temptation that they don’t appear to care that their method of doing so may make some women feel like pariahs instead of respected human beings. As I commented on that post, “We are not a disease.”
(It could also be argued that the men writing and commenting on that post were insulting themselves, too, by implying that males have little self-control. That thought doesn't seem to have occurred to them, either. Their response to my comments was to ask why I was criticizing them for trying to improve their behavior. How could I explain that it wasn't necessary for them to act like cloistered monks for whom the presence of any female [except their wives and daughters, in this case] is a temptation to be avoided whenever possible?)
On the other hand, I’m also not too happy about, you should pardon the expression, the “boobs on the half-shell” look. (I’m copyrighting that one.) Call me a hypocrite, if you wish, since I wore mini-skirts as a young woman. But, even in my mini-skirt days, I had skirts that were on my “too-short-for-shul” list. Nowadays, it’s not unusual, in non-Orthodox synagogues, for women to show up in tops that show a bit more than they should. (I’m not too bonkers about guys, in the more informal synagogues, showing up in shorts, either.) And don’t even ask about how people dress at work. Even in the offices of the Orthodox organization that employs me, the manner of dress runs the full gamut, from ankle-length skirts and turtlenecks to mini-skirts and low-cut tops.
A while back, on a post on another blog (I forget which one), a commenter said that, where she lives, an outfit such as this one would be considered modest. I’ve seen just this sort of layered look at Israeli folk dancing sessions many times, when some of the younger women come in wearing low-rider jeans—and, every time they stand up, yank down the longer T-shirts that they’re wearing underneath their top T-shirts. Never let it be said that there’s no modesty among the non-Orthodox.
And never let it be said that all Orthodox Jews are slaves to the “tzniut police.” If you’d like to see an example of a moderate version of modesty among the frum folks, check out the photo of Safranit here. (Keep scrolling down—you’ll see her, eventually.) As Safranit said here, “I am very comfortable where I am religiously…this means I was not made uncomfortable by snide comments by non-religious family members, nor did I feel like I should leave wearing short sleeves and having hair showing in the Chareidi shops in the Catskills. (Yes, my parents really live year round in the Catskills)” You go!
Thursday, November 8, 2007 update: See my post "But when the shoe is on the other foot . . ."